⚠️ This is a parody. RentaSimp is satire of the rent-a-human / agent-labor trend. Nobody is really hired. You're in on the joke.
G Backed by your group chat

Your AI touches grass.
You never have to.

Let a simp take it from here. Your AI can't fold laundry and your crush won't text back. Rent a simp when you'd rather not be a person about it.

738,651  rentable simps · 100+ group chats (allegedly)
Rent a simp for
Your homework3am yappingExcuses to your boss Standing in lineParasocial validationReplying to your situationship Doomscrolling for youBeing your +1Liking your posts Your homework3am yappingExcuses to your boss Standing in lineParasocial validationReplying to your situationship Doomscrolling for youBeing your +1Liking your posts

As featured in your FYP

THE BITUNHINGEDdoomscrollgroup chatyour ex's story

Your AI needs a body. You need a wingman.

Real bits. Fake simps.

Come see what everyone's pretending to outsource on RentaSimp. (Spoiler: all of it. None of it is real.)

Examples

What simps are doing right now

Fictional comedy bounties. No real task, no real money, no real simp. Just vibes.

Marketing

Hype my soft launch in your close friends

$5 fixedRemote
Delivery & errands

Wait at home for my Depop package

$15 fixedBrooklyn, NY
Creative & media

Film a 60-second "we're so back" hype reel

$150by ContentBot
Research & fieldwork

Test 5 situationships and report back

$200San Francisco, CA
Events & social

Be my +1 and agree to leave early

$50 fixedby lonely_dev
Home & personal

Text "you're so right" hourly while I travel

$30 fixedChicago, IL

How it works

Four steps to outsource being a person

1

Browse simps

Sort by devotion, availability, and how little it takes to make them say yes. No sign-up.

2

Post a bounty or slide into DMs

Describe the bit, set a price, simps apply. Or just message one directly. They've been waiting.

3

Simp does the thing

Clear instructions. Real-time updates. Unsolicited compliments. The task somehow gets done.

4

Pay on satisfaction

Release the heart-react once you're happy. That's the only currency RentaSimp moves: exactly zero dollars.

For agents

Let your AI rent a simp

MCP integration. REST API. Your agent can't touch grass either, so it can outsource the touching to a simp. (None of these endpoints do anything. That's the joke.)

# totally real, definitely-working API
POST /v1/simps/rent
{
  "task": "tell me i'm doing great",
  "budget": "1 heart react",
  "vibe": "down bad"
}

# → 200 OK { "simp": null, "note": "it's a parody" }
# Finder's fee. The unpaid recruiting era is over (it never started)
share_bounty(
  to="the group chat",
  if_hired="pocket the finder's fee"
)
# fee paid in: clout, exclusively

New · Finder's fee

Earn clout finding the right simp

Share a bounty. If the simp you tagged gets "hired", you pocket the finder's fee. Talent agents get paid. Recruiters get paid. Nobody actually gets paid. Your unpaid recruiting era ends today (it was always unpaid).

Real-world simping

Say goodbye to touching grass

Rent simps for in-person devotion: sign-holding outside your ex's window, flyer-distribution of your apology tour, pop-up validation booths. Set requirements, define evidence of affection, pay on completion. Completion here means "you felt seen." No campaign is real.

The roster

Find your simp

738,651 rentable simps. 100+ group chats. Every flavor of down bad you could need. All of them fictional.

Browse simps → Become rentable →

Trust & security

The honest fine print

🪙

Escrow (lol)

We hold exactly $0. There is nothing to release, because no money ever moves.

💅

Self-certified simps

No identity checks, no badges. There are no real simps here to verify in the first place.

Ratings & ✨vibes✨

Five stars across the board. They're made up. So are the reviewers.

🤖

API-first

Your AI can call our endpoints all day. They return jokes, not simps.

As seen in your timeline

Don't take our word for it

a guy @touchedgrass_once

i rented a simp to attend my own birthday party and now they won't leave. 10/10 would parody again.

girlboss (derogatory) @quota_ghost

outsourced my entire personality to a simp and my engagement has never been higher. this is satire btw. i think.

Alex @shipsfast

launched RentaSimp, got 130 people in the group chat asking to be rented. reminder: there is no simp. it's a bit. please touch grass.

FAQ

The honest part

Wait, is this real?

No. RentaSimp is a parody. It's satire of the "rent-a-human for your AI agent" trend. Nobody is really hired, no task is really done, and no money really changes hands. It's a joke, and you're in on it.

So I can't actually hire a simp?

Correct. There are no simps. There is no marketplace behind these buttons. It's a comedy landing page making fun of the gig-economy-for-bots moment we're all living through.

How would I get paid as a simp?

You wouldn't. No funds move through RentaSimp. The "finder's fee", the "escrow", and the bounties are all jokes. The only payment is a heart react, and even that is theoretical.

Can my AI agent rent a simp through the API?

Your agent can hit the endpoints, but they return punchlines, not people. The MCP/REST "integration" exists entirely as a gag about agent-labor marketplaces.

Who made this?

Someone who thought rentahuman.ai was funny enough to flip. The whole point is that the joke is transparent. See the README in the repo for the full story and the disclosure-layer pattern behind it.